I thought it only happen in the movies, or reality tv shows.

I was really sad. Something that I thought only can happen in the movies, or reality tv shoes (think about Survivor) happen to me.

I really could not understand why people go really upset when they got duped, betrayed, stab in the back, cheated in Survivor, only after a month or so. It’s a game of getting a million dollar after all.

For my case, I was cheated after maybe knowing that person for a third of my life. That is a long time. I was deeply demoralized, demotivated, feeling down for a day. And then I face the situation head on. I communicate, I ask why, I try to understand. And then I understand the situation, rectified it.

You see, the person is someone I really really really trust. And it hurts deeply when this happen. But with the info I get, I was told that my behaviours are some of the reason. I can change my behaviours. I’ve been a positive, motivated person, the first time I read Anthony Robbins’ book, and I remembered that it was around that time that I meet this person.

And I understand another thing. I may have heard it before or maybe it’s just my heart trying to console itself. Things change, people’s heart change. It’s just a surprised for me because it felt like just too quick a turnaround. We don’t actually fight or anything like that.

That person is having a hard time, and I was not there to help out.  It was the opposite of "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

I don’t have any close friends since I did my PhD. The time I spend and the anxiety of the PhD process makes me trying to hide myself sometimes. And this person is the closest that I have, the one I talk to all the times.

I am sad, heart broken, feeling like I want to read some poetries about heart being broken or something like that. But for now, I’ll move on. I have a PhD to finish, and I’ll finish it, and move on. Life’s too short to stay in misery. And did I mentioned that this problem got rectified? It was, so it’s ok. Maybe it was like “lukanya hilang tapi parutnya masih ada” The cut was healed, but the scars are still there. I’ll use laser treatment to clear off the parut hehehe. Or maybe I’ll do the forgive and forget process.  I was reading 1/3 of this article and I think I’ll do this process.

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/forgive-forget

Hopefully things will get better from here on out. I have a plan to be fit, healthy and strong, to join a gym and get a personal trainer for that. I have a healthy mind, just need my body to follow suit. I will succeed and I will be happy. All the best.

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